5 Tips For Coping With The Death Of Your Partner

Death is inevitable and unpredictable because we are living beings. This is why you must first accept that your partner has died and give yourself time to overcome it.

Dealing with the death of your partner is not just saying goodbye to a very special person. It is also about saying goodbye to a past, a present and a future together. It is the farewell to a life plan, to joint projects, to unforgettable experiences, to moments just for two, to memories that are always with you. You have to learn to face the death of your partner.

Overcoming everything is not an easy task. It is not and will not be. You will need time, a period of mourning, and it will be painful. However, you have to overcome this, because life goes on.

Confront the death of your partner

How to overcome the death of a loved one? Worse still, how to face the death of his partner, a friend, a lover, an accomplice, a companion? It seems impossible, but it is not.

Each person is a world. Everyone faces loss and grieve in a different way. Nevertheless, it is true that there are  several techniques to help us cope with the death of our partner in the best possible way.

You have to keep in mind that you have to  close the wound in the right way. Otherwise, the grieving process will not be completed. It may even lead to future problems: phobias, fears, insecurity, inability to commit, etc.

Mourning (duration, patience and indulgence)

Grieving is a physical, emotional, and social reaction to the death of a loved one. The reaction is more or less intense depending on each person. In addition, it will have characteristics or others and will require more or less time.

Time is still needed, however. In other words, you have to take time for yourself. You have to understand that what happened is not easy, understand that you have to be indulgent with your own self.

Remember that grieving is a necessary experience, albeit a traumatic one. You must therefore understand that it will be painful,  that a wound must heal. You need to be tolerant of yourself and give yourself enough time for the wound to heal properly. You have to allow yourself the pain and sadness.

It would be interesting to list the steps to follow for the wound to heal:

• Accept  the loss
• Suffer
• Adjusting to your new life without the deceased
• To remove, in other words to get rid of the “energy” of the deceased person (talking about him normally, being able to love again, forming relationships, etc.)

Experts also indicate that bereavement generally lasts about 18 months. If sadness and pain are still very present after this time,  it may be time to seek professional help. Of course, as we mentioned, everyone experiences mourning at their own pace.

Talk about him or her

You have to get your life back. You need to leave the past behind and focus on your future now. Nonetheless, the person who left has filled your heart in the past, your days and your hours. She will always be a part of you.

So the first few months will be painful. Then, little by little, the memory of the deceased person should become part of your personal history. She will always be a part of your life, who you are and how you are.

Talk about your feelings and that special someone who is no more. Say what she was like, what you did together, what experiences were shared, etc. This will undoubtedly help you recover.

 Visualize the new future after the death of the partner

Death is inevitable and has no solution. Once it is there, there is nothing you can do to change things. So the only option is to accept it sooner or later.

The problem – as we mentioned – is that also dies a future of dreams, hopes, plans and years together. It thus forces us to reprogram everything we assumed  our future would be and visualize it in a completely different way.

So, in order to be able to cope with the death of your loved one, you must be able to visualize this new future. You don’t have to imagine the rest of your life. You can start with short-term goals  and then look to a more distant future.

Start doing things you used to do together again

During the first few months of grieving,  the thought of doing activities that you were doing with the deceased seems extremely painful. Indeed, the pain and the sadness will give to these previously pleasant activities a touch of bitterness and a bundle of memories and of why.

However, little by little  you have to start over whatever makes you feel alive. You need to be able to feel pleasure again doing things that you loved and made you feel good about.

In this sense,  you must gradually understand that nothing will be the same without your partner. It will of course be different. Remember that these activities may become enjoyable again and make you feel good. In addition, you should gradually include the memory of this person as a way to make them more rewarding.

You have the right and the obligation to enjoy life again.

Consult a professional if necessary

It is possible that, despite your best efforts, it may be really difficult for you to come to terms with or overcome grief. Do not hesitate to consult a professional to face it. There are bereavement therapies that, with the help of a psychologist, will help you overcome it and get back on track with your life and your future.

Finally, remember that grieving is a normal and necessary process, painful and by no means easy to overcome. Keep this in mind and give yourself the time and patience  to accept it, to suffer and little by little, to integrate into your personal history to finally, to accept the death of your partner.